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RUN REPORTS 2011(See Hash History Page for Years 2010 and previous years)

RUN NO: 1210 - Hares - Just say when/Rusty Twat

Place: in the middle of nowhere...

This nice Sunday afternoon some 36 souls gathered somewhere between Marbella Coin and Alhaurin, It was warm and sunny, but the hares, being the kind people they are, selected a perfectly shaded area for the circle. Even most of the cars were parked in the shade... Although the directions given were ok several hashers (including myself) had to seek assistance in getting there so not arriving on time.  Also some (again I must owe up that this included me) were convinced the start time was 6 PM. Therefore, being last to arrive at the circle, I was bestowed the honor of writing for you again...


After a short circle held by Mummies Boy, which included the introduction of 3 virgins and some confusing explanations of signs in flour, we set off on the run. The first part was nicely shady and very pleasant. Not too many checks and splits, but a very nice run area. The final part to the beer stop was a bit of a never ending uphill story, but in the end even the most decrepit hashers made it up the hill. (I would not want to name names here...)

Compliments to the hares for managing their hash so well. They got the family to carry up the beers to the beer stop! Smart women/nice family (cross out as you see fit).   Again a nice shady space was provided for our gathering. After the beer stop the second half started pleasantly on even ground... Alas this could not last. After a very long false and then climbing a hill to a false we finally got on the right track again and made our way to the cars. All were accounted for (we think?) and then we had a circle. 


Mommies Boy again presided with a flair that comes with experience. Several anniversaries were celebrated, most notably WWWW *Willy Wanker´s Willy Warmer with 200 runs! ( Just found out my Mac does not know words like Wanker so I have to teach it! Hope I know how to spell them...) Then the run was evaluated and consensus found with a note of 8.7. 


Excellent planning, a different area and the graceful shade did reap its reward! Personally I think this was the Perfect Summer run in. After deducting 1 point as I tend to do when the regular coke is lacking (the brown liquid, not the other stuff...) I still ended up giving a 9.5! Then the circle was handed over to our most capable RA Colonic Irrigation (yes, spell check did work on that one!)


There was some recounting of several stupidities from hashers over the last weeks. Sir Flaky took the first price by putting his Mom in the car and let it roll down the hill! (Mom is fine!) Then there followed the naming of 3 Hashers that reached or even surpassed 5 runs. Albert started of the line of suffering. He is now blessed with the beautiful name of Testicle Fester (as in Uncle Fester from the Adams Family...) (Luckily my Mac does know how to spell Testicle...)


Next up was Terry/Teresa/Tel (did we really need to give her yet another name?) After lengthier group discussions she now will be known as Sticky Tart. Hopefully she forgives us and keeps spoiling us with her bakery goodies!


Alan was next up for naming. Again a lengthy group discussion followed. I am not sure what happened next or might be one of the senile hashers the RA keeps refereeing to as for the life of me I can not remember his new name!!!! Hope he remembers.. 


After more punishments and blessings Colonic handed back the circle to Mommies Boy  Announcements for next weeks Hash, some interference from the Malaga Hash and the announcement regarding the Summer Ball concluded the circle.


Finally we could dig into the goodies we brought for our picnic! We chatted, drank, ate and had a good time till it got really dark. After gathering up all stuff we made our way back home. Thank you for a lovely evening! 



Sweet & Low




RUN NO: 1209 - Hare - Jizzacal

Some 35 runners met at the run site , a circle was called ,due to the fact Flakey had returned from China and to the surprise of  everybody  the GM  decided to anoint Flakey to the heady heights of  “ Knighthood “, I knew it was going to happen  but I was expecting it to be later at the end of the run not at the beginning ,but the  GM is always right ( well nearly ???) and I  most graciously accepted the part of placing the sword on Flakeys shoulders.

After Hash Flash  we set off into the countryside  of Mijas   good first  half , good beer stop  ,good beer San Miguel  and an excellent  second half for the few  that did it ..Our hare  had placed  a women and wimps trail  on in  and as usual most of our wimps went that way .

A circle was called and Sir Flakey  got a few more down  down s  as did myself and not forgetting  Sir Sparky   T:O:B:  with our new GM ( septic scrotum ) and our stand in RA  (tight arse)  doing a great job we had a great circle  then moved on to the restaurante  at MIjas golf

It was an excellent run 

We also had two knights in the same circle  a first I think for  Mijas HHH.




RUN NO: 1208 - St. Anthony´s- Hares - 5 Mil & HMV

I opened my Big Mac mouth again and landed the job of scribe.  There was a super turnout of 41 in spite of a number of high profile absentees.  The GM Septic Scrotum was among these but any suggestion that he had been on a bender the night before was quickly ruled in. Included in our midst was a virgin harriette – Anushka – from Canada via the Indian subcontinent at some time in her family history! The start point was the ample car park of St Anthony’s School and hares HMV and 5 ml showed signs of nervousness that the nature (goats) and the elements (wind) might have erased parts of the trail. Their pre run demo was rubbish.  Off we set along the mainly well marked trail with cunning checks, splits and back checks which did a good job of holding the back together. The trail eventually led to a derelict, hilltop abode where there was some debate as to the meaning of the windblown marking. It appeared that both trails off the split were false which should not be. There had been talk of beehives at the start so some hashers made a beeline for these which were visible in the distance. Just say Gwen eventually found a third trail and we resumed the run.  At this stage several hashers were clearly missing in action and a few others were suffering from heat exhaustion (at least so they claimed). A total of 7 failed to reach the beer stop. In fact the hares themselves almost failed to reach the beer stop having lost their own way there. Mutterings of warm beer, and shortages of provisions were overheard.  Our virgin was in bad shape with allergies to almost everything but perhaps mainly to male hashers? Not yet offered his inhaler which helped but Anushka needed a shower.  There were volunteers among the hashers for this which she politely declined. She was medi-vaced back to base camp and we may never see her again. The second half proved to be another decent trail taking the overall length to something not far off 8km. The pack was reunited at the start point with the 7 lost souls accounted for and voicing complaints to the hares. After some debate as to where the circle should be held and rearranging of cars a sol y sombre arrangement was decided upon. Some hashers, presumably still thinking of last week’s beach BBQ brought out their folding chairs and settled down in the shade.  Others propped themselves on cushions.  The GM dealt with the hash business. The run attracted both high praise (from a few runners) and harsh criticism (from the rest). Scores ranged from hash shit to 9 and averaged 5.9. The RA soon put paid to the lounging about and hashers were reminded of traditions.  An exception was made for a few OAPs to sit. The most heinous sin was committed by Euan who began touting for business for his daughter. Colonic called her mobile and an amusing conversation ensued, at least amusing to us!  Warm beer was the order of the day for the down downs and I even witnessed a hasher refuse a beer.  Nikki who has appeared from nowhere to clock 5 consecutive runs and is running for hash office already was aptly named Nikki Bitch. The GM closed the circle and Streaky made a plea for hashers to buy cheaper ice. The On On was across the road and after a slow start a decent BBQ was served up with decent wine for the decent price of ˆ9 for the indecent hashers who showed up.  Next week is my 100th run so someone else can scribe!


RUN NO: 1207 - Puerto Banus - Hare - Shaggi and the 2 K´s

Sunday, beach day! Or was it? At or around 1 PM we all gathered on the Golden Mile. A little detour when following the hash signs brought us to a parking area. Then through a condemned tunnel, with reasonable fear for life, we got to the beach. 

We had the opening circle greeting one virgin, who was anxious to get deflowered. Then on the run we went. Following the beach for a long time we came to a piece of woods with many false trails and after much searching found the trail continued on the beach.

Then followed a lot of tarmac and bringing us back on the beach we had a beer stop. The second half existed of tarmac and beach again and of a pack splitting in two parts (the slower part getting back to the meeting area first...)

I am sure a circle followed and then there was a picnic planned. Unfortunately I had to leave before the circle started so I can only guess the misbehavior continued as Shaggy started off by fighting with the local population regarding the site to have the picnic...

On On! 

Sweet ´n Low


RUN NO: 1206 - Summer Camp Sunday - Hares - Gangbang & Marshy Peas