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RUN REPORTS 2011(See Hash History Page for Years 2010 and previous years)

Run 1225 - TweetskiPie & Putitin- Mark 8

Doing the Ruskie stuff up the Mijas Mountain.

Having sprinted to the Beer Stop beating young Mindy to the Cruzcampo, I was relieved not to have to put pen to paper as this week’s scribe. How wrong I was, our northern friend slipped me the news that his computer had got a gremlin, or had had a visit from a man from the Kremlin, either way Mindy was unable to perform, and here I am trying to remember what mishaps fell upon our trusty band of Hashers last Sunday.

Well it was up the Mijas Mountain and we scrambled up and staggered down following shredded paper bits of flour and lots of sweaty bodies, some feeling happy and great to be alive, others feeling tired and full of dread. We all made it to the sprint finish of the first Beer Stop and the lazy stroll to the second with great views down the hill to the sea. But there was one thing missing Vodka! What no Vodka on a Tweetski Hash, the credit crunch must be hitting hard as all we got was some home grown fruit as the healthy option. Was it a new directive from the Boss, be nice to the Hash community no more poisoning them with shots of suspicious clear liquid in strange bottles with even stranger names like skermnoffky 100 proof double rectified bust head.  But we all enjoyed our fresh fruit and views down the coast. No water hazards or shark invested streams just a meander down to the on in and it was all over.  But then it’s never all over on a Ruskie Hash, the dreaded circle with Colonic as commandant cleansing us of our sins and the marking, yes the marking, how would streaky off load hash shit to Tweetski? It just wasn’t going to happen! Lots of high scores from those hashers wanting to arrive home in one piece or to see their pets in one piece again, jizzical ferk must love his dog as his score of 6.1 piped my 6 and an average of 8 was justly awarded for another fine hash. They are all good if you think about it. Just different!

Hash comic Karma Chameleon was on form with his gay housekeeper joke, I even laughed on my third hearing of the day, but for some reason he was in the bad book and received lots of down downs, for what I can’t remember. A few anniversaries from those sad buggers without another life and before we knew it darkness was engulfing us and the On On beckoned us down the road to Mijas. Some were happy, in fact very very happy and stayed on dancing at the circle, pert arse can’t cook calling me Yogi can’t dance so it was time to eat, leave the dancing to those who can! And the eating to those who enjoy where not to be disappointed!  The name escapes me but the views from the restaurant and the food deserved a 9+. Tweetski got a Bear hug from me to show how the Hash appreciated the great food and we all went home a band of happy Hashers.

On-on Yogi

Run 1224 - Radio Kaka & Mummy- Mark 7.4


Run 1223 - Dipper, Colonic &  5-Knuckle Shuffle- Mark 8.65

ANNIVERSARIOS:TwiskyPie 90,RadioCaca 60, RubHerTwat 50, ToxicBolox 40, WunTit 20 & UncleFester 15

Thirty five intrepid Hashers made it to the Feria Ground to board the hearse on way to this annual extravaganza, in search of a mystery location and 6 awaiting Witches and Warlocks.

It soon became abundantly clear that this was as much a mystery for the Ukrainian driver and his Uzbekistan navigator as for the Hashers.

The bets were on, would it be along the coast towards the Axarquia, Lake Vinuela, Nerja and Motril or would it be North towards Antequera, Iznahar and onto Granada. Few dared to suggest another sojourn in the Ronda direction and the scribe had his money on the area around Antequera, possibly Torcal or Rio Frio.

Sure enough we headed towards Malaga, but past the new toll road heading North. Was it to be the Axarquia? No, we reached the Eastern ring road and forked right up towards Antequera, but alas this came and went – possibly Rio Frio? Yes we were turning off and……. Oh dear, even with the help of four locals all pointing in different directions we were obviously well and truly … LOST.

A quick phone call and off past the signs for Loja and Iznahar and we were headed back to Malaga opening a whole new range of options! Halfway back we forked off and again headed East, could it really be a devilish!! route to Lake Vinuela, no we headed North again on to the old Malaga to Granada which passes Rio Frio.

Wait a minute, an hour earlier we were only ten minutes away on the same road – oops! Were the hairs really that late in setting the run or wast the bus driver justifying his expense. Either way, what with leaving 30 minutes late and now this circular tour we could have had an extra hour and a half in bed or a really good fry up.

Fi.…nally the demonish hairs jumped out in front of us. We had arrived to…… yes…… Alfarnetejo.

Well done Nipper, hereby receiving recognition for guessing Colmenar, only ten eagle kms away and closer than Torcal or Antequera.

Introductions done it was off through the Park (literally) for the start of the run. Within site of more than a handful of peaks and ridges higher than Ben Nevis (1343 meters) and reaching up to 1671 meters surely this would not continue. Had the hairs gone soft and after an easy mark? It appeared so, an easy gradiant or two and some rather long check backs and we were down to the valley floor, close to the source of the stream that eventually feeds Lake Vinuala. We were told it was an A to B run but we had gone full circle and were now picnicking within easy reach of the bus. A fresh barra, ham, cheese and tomatoes with loads of mustard, washed down with plenty of ale and all in the shade of the local oak trees. The hairs were wise to this game!

 Feeling suitably replete we were reminded that we had a Hash to run and the smile on Dippers face said it all. Yes we were going to get altitude sickness, that’s all except Lilo Lil who suddenly remembered she had been with Mummy’s Boy the day before climbing La Concha (12/13 k) and oh, yes, she had been with the walking club doing the odd 15 k’s the day before that. What a wimp!

 Off we set, up through the tree line to a high pasture. The only way out was on up, but false trails abounded. High up on the ridge was a track. There must be a way to it and Jissical and Mummy’s arrived from different directions, finding the hidden path together and ON UP. Not wishing to appear competitive or putting down a younger man the scribe let Jissical, just, reach the ridge ahead of him and what a relief when both were greeted with sticky, chocolate’y cake and more beer.

The third leg of the Hash led us down to the village of Alfarnate, which we duly ran through with its many false trails and which some found more difficult than others to negotiate. Another beer, lost Hashers repatriated and the bus found,  we were happy to drive the short distance to the circle and our ON ON.

 This was to be held at one of the oldest haunted ventas in Spain dating back to the 13th Century. But first the circle of Witches and Warlock’s.

 Returners, including a few not seen for many a run and the Anniversario’s were singled out for a down down. The run was scrutinized – well marked, totally original, stunning countryside, good fare, all in all a pretty good show and a whopping great 8.65, excluding that silly witch who always says “hash shit”.

Dipper and Colonic then played tag, taking it in turns to seek out and punish any good that could be found. A game specially designed for scantily clad witches seemed very popular.Said witch, on her knees, had to bend over a bowl of water with floating apples. They were then timed as to how long it took to retrieve an apple with their mouth, whilst an audience of Warlock’s heckled from behind!!

The Circle finally wound down, we were told by Radio Caca that next weeks run would be at 4.00 sharp, Marbella way – see web site for full details and the coven of witches and warlocks descended on the hostelry for much frivolity. For those deigned to be in breach of festive spirit a jail within the restaurant eagerly awaited (originally used for prisoners en route between Malaga and Granada).

Raucous renditions, the likes the Inn had not heard for many a year, followed a good deal of wining and dining. Witches were tossed and girated about by their long hair and a generally agreeable time was had by all. Well done the Hares.

 ON ON your scribe, Mummy’s Boy




Run 1222 - Just Say When & Sweet&Low - Mark 8.3

Just 19 hardy hashers showed up for what turned out to be a warm dry run with the forecasted rain not showing up.

 After going round in circles for 10 mins we eventually found the tiniest pile of flour that hadn´t been washed away by the morning rain. Lots of ups and downs thru some avocado groves growing on private land(Radio Kaka couldn´t resist scrumping the avocados)  led us to the beer stop. Bit short the first half we thought but the hares insisted we had short cut and missed a large section of the run.

The second half gave us the wet shoes that we had been promised with a long walk up to river to the second stop, this time for cava.

Only 12 hashers made it to the cava stop due to some confusing markings but it was well worth it for the river walk meandering thru bamboo groves.
Septic was the GM getting back to tradition with mug and hash wear checks. Colonic put in his usual performance with paintball sitons for some sins.
Thanks also to Colonic for helping me out after I drove into the river after too much cava.
Didn´t go to the On-on but it looked fun from the photos.

Aniversarios: Mummy:335 Pussy Galore:70 Crystal Tits:10

On-on Dogsy.


Run 1221 - The Wally´s

Nikki Powles 9:10pm Oct 20

With about 35 attendees we all met at the Rio Grande River In Coin On the way to Alozania. Mumsies boy took the circle and there were 4 virgins, 2 Russian friends of Colonic and Gang bang and Mandy and Debs friends of mine. Some one had new shoes but cant remember who! The dogs were shagging as usual even Semen Staines dog who had been castrated this week! The wallys set us off straight through the river so we got soggy shoes to start us off! The trail was flat and easy to follow and was good for running. After a while we started up and down some hills towards the first beer stop. There were a couple of short cutters who didnt get caught! Spotted dick and Golden balls!! The next part was quite hilly and steep with a few false trails that most of us followed. We then had a chocolate brownie stop. The last part had lovely views and a lot of river walking. The score was about 8.8 most people enjoyed it very much. The wallys then had to sit in the river for singing Rivers of Babylon and then Kinder garden probably because he fouled the trail as he normally does! Aniverasios : 274 and 277 runs - Kindergarden Cop and Swiss Roll.We attempted to name a Carribean looking Scotts man but couldnt cheer loud enough so put on hold. Some dogs were naughty in the circle. Cant think anymore and didnt go to the ON ON.