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RUN REPORTS 2011/2012(See Hash History Page for Years 2010 and previous years)
RUN number 1236 - 29th January 2012 - Coin
RUN number 1235 - 22nd January 2012 - La Cala
Hares: Stiffanny and Seamen stains.
So 30 odd of us finally found the Run site as signs were only put out 10 mins before! Then the sign to turn off was hidden and written in invisible ink on the back of a chameleon!
The main Hare was missing at the start of the run so the instructions were left to our Seamen Stains (Novis and first set run) to explain the markings with no Flour! Mmmm, yes well done there!
Anyway, off they all went up hill and down dale following a very well marked trail. There was also a WW trail that most of the Russians took!
The beer stop had to be moved due to an angry man who threatened to call the police on us! We moved the BS 40 meters and he was very happy!
Prawn Crackers, Hot Spring rolls, nuts at the Beer stop made it a great one.
The trail back was also quite challenging and well thought out but some bastards short cutted (including Me)
Back at the circle the run was given a lucky Chinese 8.
Stiffy was Santa and had gifts for everyone including several bottles of Cava for us to enjoy! Sir Flakey missed a good one there!
Can¡¯t remember the Aniversarios, well Seamen was 1.
After the severe punishment in the circle (Freezing cold) we all went to the new WOK for a great ON ON ON. Fantastic!
Well done you 2 it was a great day.
RUN number 1234 - 15th January 2012 - Alhaurin
Hare: Big Mac Mark: 8.4
This Sunday we gathered at the parking lot of Venta la Morena. Only to be told, we could not stay there... So on to a empty plot next to the BP station at the same round about. After all had gathered we started with the opening circle. 38 hashers had shown up despite predicted rain. It looked like nice weather for a run anyway;)
GM Septic Scrotum set of with playing a tie break game with Eggshell Blond and myself to find out which of the late arrivals to the circle would be scribe. As my knee was stiff, I decided it would be easier to be scribe then to get down on the ground. Was not sure I would get up again... Then the GM continued with the introduction of 3 virgins, 2 friends of Uncle Fester and Sticky Tart and Seaman Stains ºdaughterº Next the hare warned us of the respectable length of the run providing much detail. I think he was scared to receive hash shit without the full disclosure...
So we set off on the first half of the run. Up, down, checking etc. Had all the signs of a hash run. Bit of confusion at one check as the tunnel was a false and it took a bit to decide to check the one right next to it! On on and up and down. Nice variation in the trail. Pack kept together well Beer Stop! Yes, long run if we are halfway now, but good so far!!! Some views and some nice fincas to see on the way.
Dogs nicely on the leash at the beer stop except for our chicken killer... Blue the rule does apply especially to you!!!! On on over a little tarmac. At least without traffic as some developers dream died on that hill some time ago. Up, down check etc. more of the same as we found on the first half. Bit rougher terrain for most, some sticking to some trails not laid by Big Mac. Pack still kept together well and all seem to find their way back to the cars. No blood or exhaustion signs so Big Mac can stop worrying about receiving Hash Shit this time.
Slowly getting colder as we start the circle. The GM called in the anniversaries:
5 Knuckle Shuffle 15 runs
Wide Open 20 runs
Jizzical Ferk 65 runs
Pussy Galore 80 runs
Shagadelic 170 runs
Swiss Roll 285 runs
5 Mill 300 runs received Badge!
Marks were given and resulted in a respectable average of 8.4. Well done Big Mac!
RA Clonk took over the circle and reported various sins and some fiction.With temperatures dropping a song with dance was inserted to warm up the pack. Much jumping, laughing and singing warmed us up enough to continue the circle. Clonk was at his best:)
There was a short drive and for some a walk to the Venta where we showed the staff why it is advantages for them to cut us a set menu deal... Food was good and fast despite some confusion amongst the waiters. Drinks went in well as usual. We had a very pleasant Sunday!
Sweet & Low
RUN number 1233 - 8th January 2012
Mark: HASH SHIT (24 out of 29 votes in case you didn't know)
Location: Stupa in Benalmadena (well, that was the lowest point anyway)
Marcus Skiddius 15
Gang Bang 190
Kindergarden Cop 295
Mummy's Boy 345
So, it was the first hash back after Xmas for many of us. So we expected a nice little stroll in Benalmadena to work off some of the excess food and drink consumed over the festive season. In fact Gang Bang had told the other Russians it will probably be a gentle town run. I don't think they are talking to her anymore...
Swiss Roll explained in the circle that they hadn't used much flour to set the run. So we all thought it was a disaster before it started. We were right. But not because of the lack of flour unfortunately.
But she did mention that there were two beer stops. This wasn't met with as much cheer as I initially expected. People obviously released that it meant that the run was LONG...
Up Your Bum kept saying that the run was nothing to do with her and that it was all Swiss Roll's doing. Does that mean she paid run fees like the rest of us then? Lol So we set off up the mountain, and climbed, and climbed, and climbed. Then we climbed some more. Stopped to take a breath every so often, and cursed Swiss Roll and Up Your Bum, and then climbed some more.
Swiss Roll was right, there wasn't much flour. But it didn't really matter as we were just following the trail...the ONLY trail, that led to the top of the mountain....and then the top of the second mountain, that was almost above the clouds!!!
Now, being a fit young thing myself, I didn't moan once, in fact I skipped up there singing songs and laughing all the way. But I was walking with Semen Stains, Uncle Fester, Mindy, and Five Mil. So I had to run between them giving mouth to mouth and the occasional chest pump. (Back in the circle Semen Stains, Uncle Fester, and Mindy were some of the very few people who actually gave a mark or two to the run. I imagine it must have been for my mouth to mouth :) ...therefore Five Mil must be gay!)
So we made it to the beer stop somewhere in the clouds, and there was some very nice mulled wine, made by Swiss Roll. She was obviously trying to secure a point or two. But there was no ice to ice them with at the circle, and no lemonade to make shandy with either. So the half point I was thinking of giving them was taken away.
The Russians and some others got a lift back down the hill, as the idea of doing anymore walking for some people was too much. I kind of wish I took the car too. I walked down with Semen Stains who was showing me how the Shephards called to each other in the mountains. Ask him the noise that they make if they've lost a sheep....It's funny. Clearly utter bollocks, but funny all the same.
We got to the second beer stop (if you can call it that) and all we found were Mindy and Psychadelic, who both had cramp. Not quite what we expected from a beer stop.
Then Kindergarden appeared to give them a lift. Apparently he set off with Mindy's cramped leg still hanging out of the car. He didn't stop as he couldn't understand a god damn word of what Mindy was saying. (Ask Colonic. I think he sounds more like Mindy than Mindy does..very funny) Kindergarden then came back again to pick up me and Semen Stains. We never did find that sheep.
The marking began and the bitches, sorry, I mean lady hashers, got a record 24 Hash Shits out of a possible 29. In fact about 5 of them came from people who hated it so much they left before the circle started!
Swiss Roll kept saying 'I never said it was a hash!' which was a bit confusing as I thought we were members of the Hash House Harriers. What do I know...I'm just a Radio Presenter.
Colonic told us about a lovely Christmas present he got from his neighbour Five Mil, a new chopping board that he made himself. I was rather impressed both by his craftmenship, and clearly friendship, to do such a nice thing. Until Colonic revealed that he hacked Stiffany's table to bits to create it!!!
Colonic also mentioned my California trip and the fact that I (apparently) was there shagging Psychadelic (who was actually in Florida) But we weren't shagging honest....he said we were making love :) Yogi's friend Rod is gonna get christened soon...his real name is Rodney so there are a few Only Fools and Horses names flying around. Me thinks the words Dipstick or Plonker will get in there somewhere.
The On On was another great feed at Shakers....would have got them a point maybe, but sadly the circle and marks had already been counted. Shame.