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RUN REPORTS 2013
Run 1339 December 29th Photos 1339 Hares: Uncle Fester & Seaman
Arrrived late so got landed with the run report.
Run Mark: 8.9! Only 15 and a dog turned up . It was a steep rocky trail but 2 beer stops and some Sticky tart tart.
Two new Scandy hashers turned up.
Didn´t make the on-on so can´t comment further.
Run 1338 December 22nd Photos 1338 Hares: Mummy & Just say When
Run 1337 December 15th Photos 1337 Hares: Shaggi and Sweet&Low
SHAGGY AND SPEEDBUMPS RENUION 8.2
Starring The Wench from Wales Shagadelic as______SHAGGY
Flown in just for this role, breaking off from her tight schedule in the UK.
Hot on the success of her recent adaptation of Dr Proctor and the Bum Bandits and the Galic remake of -The Sheep Hunter- starring along side Robert Di rear now, the singing lothario from llanglollon on sea.
A traumatic epic of family and friends torn apart by the events of a pending foreign war set amongst the dramatic back drop of the port talbot steel works,the misty flocks of sheep high in the hills the way of relaxing before the impending tragedy unfolds.
The Lollita from Luxemburg Sweet & Low as _____SPEEDBUMPS
Standing in due to a double booking of the popular Miss Bumps compeating in a Hippy "love in "on location in Coin
A successful starlet in her own right with casting globally over the last decade,Miss Low comes here with a new lease of life, after a life of stardom and addiction to fame,money and cigarettes. Sporting a trend setting stainless steel ecco friendly micro bubble pipe she slides effortly into this demanding lead, not shy of the lime light and eager and quite able to fill Miss Bumps shoes and sports bra.
Production by WIDE OPEN Inc of Midsummer Night Dream fame and recent winner of the 2012 Fuengirola Miss Erotic Tapas Crawl. Also nominated for- Spectacle Heaven- an eye fetish underground movie missed by the mainstream but achieving critical acclaim in C movie Fetish show annual review.
Direction by JUSTIN the Magnificent, Academy nominated for -Tapas and Dependency, a model Bi-Epic multi lingual slant of life on a shoe string,set amongst the corruption and chaos of the educational system in post crisis Madrid. This master of the narrative struck gold with his control of post traumatic Hash disorder following successful supporting roles and forays into familiar institutions.
THE SET The Hills above El Rosario on a warm sunny day 15th Dec 2012. A backdrop of mountains and sea views with a familiar plot of the two starlets leading a mixed supporting cast a merry dance through the campo,trying where possible to disabled the plot and cause havoc, pain and misery. Some fun can be expected along the way along followed by an excellent chinees meal in The Hong Kong las Chapas. No chop sticks or Gays allowed on this film set, its not your normal chick flick. "only real men apply".
The Supporting Cast not in order of appearance, size, colour, race or ability.
No liability for any miss interpretation of characters and any resemblance to those living or near to death shall be accepted by the film crew and any of its sister companies either solvent or in liquidation so help me God.
Dogs Bollocks - Easy Rider and The wild ones. Soon to star in the remake of
The Good the Bad and the Mushtash.
UP YOUR BUM - Back Door lovers -Clay Digging the Easy Way-Arse Bandits 3 and many more submissive and supporting rolls without limits,an actress to be relied upon when the going gets shitty.
MUMMYS BOY - Mad Max, Mad Max 2 -The Shinning, his bafta winning roll as the deranged caretaker in a remote hotel. Who will ever forget the climatic ending with the axe through the bathroom door
4.275 stars The San Pedro Tribune
UNCLE FESTER - Addams Family one and two . A special note for his creative casting in these roles.
CANUTE - Enemy at the Gates- Battle of the Bulge. a mature master of the epic war movie but always missing out on the final trophys. His command of English is just a rummer like his sense of hummor.
JUST SAY WHEN - Cat on a Hot Tin Roof "unsuitable "the Campo and farrier
Qwen eight bells toll - "another slip up" Everyday Dyslexia
STICKY TART - Domestic Goddess the Movie. The life,trials and tribulations of a baking sensation post baby boom, Fanny Craddock and Johnny.
"made my fingers go all sticky" Los Pacos cooking circle
ARROFLAPPS - From Russia with Love - Bolshovicks ate my Grandad- My friend Mr Joeseph- and many more patriotic block busters from the motherland. A Red army favourite and takes her stage name from the State, like every body else. A Star at any post productionparty and proud to have attended 25 .
TEATOTAL - R.A.D.A trained and broke a leg doing Shakespear, never really recovered but a great thespian.
GANGPLANK - To catch a thief - Two flew over the Crows Nest, an Oscar nominated role as a schizophrenic salior cast adrift in a floating psycho hospital. His main rolls have been carry on movies throughout the late 50s and 60s playing an assortment of blithering idiots. Crows Nest proved he had the talent all along but no one knew how to find it.
"outstanding" The Coin Chronicals
"will bring you to tears" My Handsome The Skipper Club Millendreath
BLOWN a SEAL - GI Jane- Head Gasket replacement. A Volvo Training film pre 2006 models replacing Head Gasket replacement A beginner guide 1999-2005 all models. Her career is gathering pace after showing how to get ahead of the crowd at the recent award ceremony, Natural talent that's hard to miss,and would be a shame if we did. Now on her 15th movie and more to come.
STREAKY - The Merry Widow-The Postman Always Knocks Twice (before she lets him in for his morning co-co)- How to recover from your tits in the bacon slicer- A Danish educational film made during the cold war period. And her most rewarding role in- Pigs may Fly but not in my back yard,or how to shit on the Germans. Another promotional film on animal husbandry the Danish way.
STREAK of PISS - Airplane, the inflatable doll " a natural" Airstewards weekly
Follow me to the bushes big boy -A nature lovers tale of fun and frolicking. A Ben Dover film -Whats that on your trolly - ARyanair promotional video for new starters. One of Mr O'lerys up and coming cabin boys mincing up a plane near you.
"not to be missed" Plane spotters monthly
SEAMEN STAINS - The Cruel Sea- A Night to Remember-The Posiden Adventure and not forgetting the long running serial Captain Pugwash where the first stains appeared. I'ya a bonnie actor capable of getting a few tricky roles and getting into the part and out again! no mean feet when your 57 years in this business
LEFT BEHIND - Bangkok Babes like big boys- Asia Hot Spots for fun loving singles -Ladyboys 2 -27 - Give it some whip-.A Beginner guide to training at stud- Hit me Harder- The follow on getting the best out of your Stable.
"an insight even Jilly Cooper missed" Spanking Mag
YOGI BEAR - The Movie-A Yellowstone film. Now in supporting mode, has become lame with excessive use of picnic baskets and too many action roles over the summer. The Great Escape was his finest moment followed by -Don't look back luv- set around the canals of south yorkshire, while renovating an old property he getsflashed by a dwarf in a red coat ! now stop there.
ENJOY THE FILM AND DON'T FORGET THE POPCORN
NO GAYS ALLOWED
Review by Mr Y Bear of the Coin Chronicle incorporating Truss & Back support weekly
Run 1336 December 8th Photos 1336 Hares: Blown a seal & Alex WTFIA.
Vikingo here reporting to you all.
T Total 15, Seaman Stains 110, Up Your Bum 505, Desire 25, Colonic Irig 270, Pert Arse cc 105
Last Sunday was a real good day out. I think most of the Hashers enjoyed it hence the score 9.5 . As I said for me it was a lovely day and 2 beer stops is a real bonus ho ho ho ho.
Muppet and I where stupid enough to think that we can swing like Tarzan in the rope, amazingly not knowing that we both have done a similar stunt? It was a fairly easy run, very impressive views to the Istan Lake, we also had to go around Turtle lake. I think we were lucky with the weather, in the shade it was freezing tho!
After the Hash we went to Blown a seal and WhothefuckisAlex house. That was great , I as a Scandinavian went a bit mad on the snaps and got told of when I got home for being a drunk idiot. Food was good, we had a few songs and jokes. I loved it, but I had a serious hangover on Monday ho ho ho.
Run 1335 December 1st Photos 1335 Hares: Streaky and Colonic Irrigation
Not a very warm day, but sunny enough to slip into that dainty red dress and make a way for the Feria Ground, I reckoned. Arriving there, it was rather disappointing to see that only another 15 Hashers or so had thought along the same lines.
Trying to make some money for Charity is a job that requires a large crowd, lots of noise and high visibility and this motley crew of shabby trannies was not going to hack it. One would have expected a bit more involvement in a good cause on the part of many regulars.
Fortunately, we were joined by a Gorilla, some Tranny Santas and two Hares in to-die-for dresses (although one of them should shave his legs next time..) which avoided a total fiasco. In fact, things turned out much better than expected, as both the Gorilla and one of the Tranny Santas turned out to be ace collectors! It was quite awesome to see how they both accosted young and old (even Lookie Lookie Men were not spared) and managed to fill their tins to the rim. Even more surprising if you consider that neither of them spoke more than two words of Spanish..
Stiff Fanny, for it was she, accompanied her hairy approach with all kinds of grunts that made no sense, but somehow sounded very convincing: “Una pooco caambio por Caduca, poar faboar!” Alex WhotheFuckisAlex, for it was he in the Santa outfit, did not want to be less: “Caambio, Pooco Caambio, please!”
I suppose it doesn't really matter what a 6 foot Santa or a Gorilla is trying to say to you – you just go for the wallet, don't you? Jane Goodall knew that all along and always carried some loose change in her banana bag.
The run was obviously a bit secondary, which was just as well as it seemed easier to find a Bin Laden on the pavement than any sign of chalk-marks. In fact, it was better to ignore the odd one we found (the chalk mark, not the Bin Laden's, they were put in the collection tins) as they always seemed to be on the wrong side of the road. If there were bars-a-plenty, the chalk-marks were next to the beach, if the bars were closed they were right in front of the deserted terraces.. In fact, the MHHH is not going to get a medal for planning ever, as next week is a Shopping Sunday and there would have been double the people in the streets. However, somebody needed to do it at some stage, so nothing but praise for the Hares in that respect.
Apart from taking the initiative to get this job done, the Hares also made sure the participants were well looked after with mulled wine and mince pies and actually passed a jolly day, both on the run and at the restaurant, which was cosy and yummy, so there! You missed it, you barstewards!
The circle was short and sweet – a generous 8.5 was awarded for the run, as generosity was the operative word for this occasion. Kindergarden Cop was called out for his run number 365 – obviously needs a life and Yours Truly was mentioned with 85 runs – must have a life, as he seems to have been around for ever in spite of such a measly number ...
In short, a good time was had by all and a small but dedicated representation of the Mijas HHH made sure we didn't end up with egg on our faces.
Just Moan In'
Run 1334 November 24th Photos 1334 Hares: 1 Tit
В этот раз не было гостей из дружеских властей, ни новеньких.
Поэтому можно смело сказать, что атмосфера была семейная,
даже слегка интимная. Ну да это как всегда.
7.7 баллов в сумме, был оценен маршрут.
После обследования Михасовских холмов, горок и самой деревушки Михас.
Очень порадовали 2 пивные остановки.
Вернее одна оказалась не запланированная, мы просто
сделали набег на машину Джона, он по не опытности
остановился, чтобы проконтролировать наш маршрут,
что дало мне лично возможность подзаправиться баночкой пива и
проще дойти до основной остановки на отдых.
Когда не знаешь языка, на котором говорят основные участники
группы, ситуация выглядит иногда более комичной, если бы владел языком,
а так пьешь, улыбаешься... прикольно.
Сам маршрут был великолепен, мне вообще очень нравятся горы.
Единственный минус тяжеловато подыматься. Но если грамотно выбирать
маршрут, можно добраться до конечной точки лишь с легкой отдышкой.
А да, индийский ресторан.
Первый раз за историю моего посещения мы поужинали на 20 евро
и это был не праздничный ужин.
Проще говоря, решили с экономить и с экономили, Раза в 2 не
подращитали с заказом.
Но ресторан классный.
А пачаран всех на бабки поставил.
Пачаран это любимый хашевсткий напиток, после еды.
Ненавижу Пачаран, у меня после него голова болит.
Если подвести итог, то каждые выходные, это небольшое приключение.
Run 1333 November 17th Photos 1333 Hares: Justin & Gangbang
Aye, first these poor GET A LIFE lads and lassies who torture themselves and moan every Sunday were recognized as:-
Sir Flakey. 295
Gang Bang. 245
Wide Open. 75
As fair as I can recall, we coodny fun the start place as there were nae HHH signs onywhere an the Parkin spaces werny mony
Onywy we gang the gither and hud a wee ring efter geein the Cloggie lassie 4 euros, an a wee fella, gave a rousing speech and cracked a few jokies then the big Cloggie (Justin) sent us awaw Doon the road. (Mind ye the moaners did nae half gie him He'll furrit efter)....
Doon an Doon we a' went skirlin and breenjin until we cam tae a brig. This wiz the stop fur a bevvy. But nae drams only tins o ale and those crispy things made frame tatties.
Efter a wee bevvy we were telt tae gae up a cliff in a the dirt and mire. But better than the tarmacamdam. So up we a went, moanin and gaspin like pair wee coos. Wan wee lassie was fair gallopin ower the place. Wan said she was befuddled. I reckon she jist did nae hae a clue where she wis. Ony wye we persevered and efter a tunnel fair shat oorsels as there was a steep ben Doon a gulley. The brave wee dug Oscar Took the fair scunner and widney gaan yin step so he hid tae be howked on Colonics shoother.
Efter a that clert thru dub an mire Benalmadena cam in Sicht an a the fowks gethered tae pass judgment on that big Cloggy guy and that braw Russian lassie for a the purgatory they put us through.
The wee sassenach boss man hae forced me tae gie HASH SHIT or he wud gie me Sicht a doin that a wud he been black affronted. Onywy I gave HASH SHIT an ye shud a seen the fair dumfoonert face on they twa! The rest o the Hash gied them average 8.3 merks an a gied them a 5 jist tae keep their faces fae reekin!
The efternin wis guy cauld but soon we clawed oor way tae the bothie fur some drams and a fair skelp o some sonsi vittals.. We partook of some no bad wee claret an some roast sow wi they fancy chips. Efter a that a few we sangs an a wee puddin. Then time tae say. ITA ABRAW MOONLICHT NICHT THE NICHT SO AM AWAW HAME AND SEE YESE A NEXT SABBATH
Run 1332 November 10th Photos 1332 Hares: Flakey & Stiff
Run 1331 November 3rd Photos 1331 Hares: Dopper & Gibbi
Congratulations to all of these very sad people for wasting their many Sunday afternoons getting some fresh air and exercise:
Sticky tart 105 runs
Seaman stains 105 runs
Karma chameleon 300
Wobbly Bob 430
A score of 8.73 was archived by Gobbi and Dipper.
It all started with a larger than normal circle this week, 26 lost soles risked life and limb (quite literally) in the pursuit of beer and crisps (Ohh and running of course).
With cock in hand and lots of merriment from our ring master Colonic the run begins.
All started well, up hills, thought campo, over trees and into the bush!
Then after only about 20 mins, it all starts to go wrong!
Where is the flour?
A couple of speck hear and there, but that's all.
Did the hares only use one bag or had the goats eaten it?
No, it was sabotage!
Scandal was in the air, who had been rubbing out the track?
Some said we had spy's from Malaga hash in our mist!
Then suddenly a traffic jam of runners!
"What's going on" we all cried?
Then the sound of gun fire!
Had a Malaga hash taken it one step to far this time?
Had "Colonic" finally shot "Gang bang"?
No it was the hunters, trying to stop the hashers and the hashers trying to stop the hunters.
Obviously the hunters won as they had guns.
But we had the last laugh as "Wobble Bob" and Colonic found the hunters cars and let all there tyres down.
We all laughed (as we run away very quickly)!
Then the best part of the run,
The beer stop was top notch!
Well done Gobbi and Dipper.
Beer,crisps,Cake,Champaign (well sparking wine).
All hashers take note please, that is how to do it!