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RUN REPORTS 2019        (See Hash History Page for Years 2018 and previous years

Run no 1622

 17th March - Paddys Day run

hares :Dogsy Chicken George and Flakey.



Run no 1621

 10th March at Atalaya,

hares From Behind and French Erection.

23 hash ers arrived at the start including miracle man, Mummys Boy and his carer Just Say When. Great to see MB up but not quite running again. By the look of the terrain we knew we were in for a tough run and that's what we got. Two hills in particular were long and quite steep with not many falsies or checks to give us a break. One we arrived at the summit of the first hill the trails were quite pleasant and then we descended back down to a valley where there was confusion with a false trail. Once that was sorted we arrived at the holding position where From Behind who was doing a fine sweeping job greeted us with some very nice nectar. After a rest of five minutes it was onwards and upwards again and on reaching the top. I was told afterwards that there was a beer stop which I duely missed. Instead I found the in trail back to the circle and never saw another hasher until I arrived at the aforementioned circle. I knew then that I had missed the beer stop as there was no sign of any liquid whatsoever for the SCB's who had missed out the long uphill climb and subsequent decline. As we awaited the other hashers to arrive at the circle we were notified that Kindergarten Kop had fallen and cut up his knee quite badly. So off we went to rescue him. Turns out that his knee required eighteen stitches. Ouch!! I don't think we will see him running downhill again!! The circle commenced without the normal GM who was on a cruise, the stand in GM who was on his way to hospital to get his knee fixed and the regular RA who was simply missing in action. Anyway we managed to hold the circle together (just) and the emergency team who rescued MB two weeks earlier and the rescued himself all received a down down and Dogsy drank the amber nectar through the chickens arse. It was a tough run but surprisingly there was not one person whinging about it and the hares received high marks for the great effort they put in setting the run. Well done hares. On On to the St Patrick's Day run.

Chicken George


Run number 1620   3 March '19

Hares – Speed Bumps and I'm Easy

At – Old Feria Ground Coin

This was a brilliant, sunny day and exceptionally warm. The starting point was in a totally new location. 

So ….... the hash got started. It was a principally a campo run up to the beer stop and a town run thereafter. The first half featured some spectacular views over Coin and the mountains of the the Sierra de las Nieves. The second half went through parts of Coin that I, as a previous resident, have never seen before. Indeed we went under a high cliff face just as the second half started that I never realised existed. 

I thought it was an excellent run, well marked with varied terrain and about the right length. It eventually received a score of 9.1.

The circle was run by the Assistant GM, since Everton were playing (regulars will understand the significance of this!) and featured two RA's in the absence of Colonic. Both Stiffany and Yogi entertained us well. But .....Yogi is not just Yogi any more ... after his efforts the previous week in saving Mummies Boy's life with heart massage..... Stiffany renamed him Yogi GBH. A fitting new addition to his name!

Anniversarios were -Salty Rim and Chicken George - 25

From Behind - 30    Pepper Grinder -55    Fuck Norris - 60

French Erection - 120    Speed Bumps 150    Jerry Can - 190

After the circle the On On was at Venta La Abuela on the Alozaina road and was really first class!

Your Scribe



Run 1619

Location: Torremolinos Bullring

Hares: Bloody Pinocchio & Pepper Grinder


This run should have come with severe warnings; the likes of:

- Beware of falling dangerous caterpillars from trees

- Don't bring dogs because of aforesaid caterpillars

- Hard hats optional

- Climbing ropes, carabinas and crampons strongly recommended

So unarmed with any of these warnings we set off for a real tough one where flour was as scarce as feathers on a fish.

But whilst out on the run/ascent, a dark cloud was forming over other events; Mummy's boy, only 300m from the start had a heart attack and fell unconscious. After 40 minutes of CPR he was taken to the University Hospital in Malaga. He is now in a critical condition in the Intensive Care Unit. As a consequence, there were no songs in the circle this week of "he's fat........he's round" or "who ate all the pies, who ate all the pies". We pray for his recovery.

Meanwhile, Master Bates, not to be outdone, was also in trouble, having sent out an S.O.S. He was dis-orientated, lost and carrying an injured leg. Unlike Mummy's boy he was able to make it back to the circle.

Recommendation: Hash Nurse to be appointed, to wear nurse uniform at all times and be ready to speedily help hashers needing assistance. Volunteers?

Run Score: 8.4 discounted by 1 mark because of Pepper Grinders penchant for Aldi's own brand beer

Anniversarios: I'm Easy 5, Happy Days 30, Lip Service 65, Over and Done With 70, 5 Knuckle Shuffle 105, Yogi, 235, Just In 250, Sweet & Low 400, Stiffanny 430, Mummy's Boy 640, Up Yer Bum 690


Happy Days


Run 1618

17 Février 2019

Run number: 1618

Hares: Youi + Marcus Skidius

Visitors: Frozon Balls Frozon Nose Prrfect 
Number offrir runners: 29
Anniversaire: Sin Prickalot 10, Antibiotics 16, Marcus Skidius 35, Master Bates 90, Gang Park 425.
Run score: 9.0002 

      En ce dimanche 17 février 2019 nous sommes allés Les Mijas Hashers en rendonnée sur un site très agréable dans la région de "LA CALA" . C'était une très belle journée ensoleillée. Il y avait trois niveaux de circuit, le premier le plus difficile pour les pros, le deuxième modéré pour les moins pros et le troisième pour les amateurs. Moi j'ai choisi le plus difficile mais j'ai eu du mal à suivre la cadence. J'étais avec quatre amies et nous nous sommes égarées, finalement c'est grâce à la visiteuse Frozon qui nous a montré la route et nous sommes arrivées les dernières sous les applaudissements de tous Mijas Hashers. Je remercie Olof pour les photos et Steve Millard pour l'animation.

February 17, 2019

Run number: 1618

Hares: Youi + Marcus Skidius

Visitors: Frozon Balls Frozon Nose Prrfect 
Number Offer Runners: 29
Anniversaire: Sin Prickalot 10, Antibiotics 16, Marcus Skidius 35, Master Bates 90, Gang Park 425.
Run score: 9.0002

On This Sunday, February 17, 2019 we went to the mijas hashers in exploring on a very pleasant site in the region of "La Cala". It was a very beautiful sunny day. There were three levels of circuit, the first the most difficult for the pros, the second moderate for the less pros and the third for the amateurs. I chose the most difficult but I had a hard time following the cadence. I was with four friends and we got lost, finally it's thanks to the guest frozon who showed us the road and we arrived the last under the applause of all mijas hashers. I would like to thank olof for the photos and Steve Millard for the animation.



10 Feb 2019
Run # 1617 Secret St Valentines run
Location Haciendas last Chapas
Hares: Sweet n Low and NN Elisa
Number of Runners: 24 ( two dozen roses)
- Score:  8.9  - 
No mention of Valentine's on the website so who would remember to dress 👗 in Red for the occasion? Only a few true loving hashers! 
The pack assembled and the hares explained the markings for the day. Primed with this knowledge and eager to get on, the pack took off together... UPENDING TREES SHRUBS AND FLOWERS..etc
As the track soon went vertical, the pack stretched thin with gasping and cursing the sadistic hares!
OnOn up to the heavenly heights we strained to be rewarded with the apparition of a glorious Beer  Stop below 🍺🍺.
Pink champagne and amber nectar soon revived the brave. 
Buoyed with bubbles True Love blossomed as Just-In revealed plans for a secret wedding to Lip-service in Las Vegas...  all attending hashers invited with all expenses paid!! 
Back on trail we decended the slopes to the car park and regrouped for the Circle.
Sir Flakey dispensed down downs to deviants and mis-behavers
Yogi (admitting to being Just-In's gay lover and pregnant with his baby)..
Salmand Rushdie for arriving late in his new car and not managing to get into the car park.,. Dogsy looking flash in his newly purchased Hash shorts and
Master Bates got a beer while demonstrating the Anti Shake features of his new iPhone!
On to more serious business...., the GM hushed the assembled and called forth NN Elisa for Beer Baptism. 
Taking up position (kneeling within the Hash-Shit Seat), Sir Flakey bestowed the name 'I'm Easy' with ceremonial Beer and Flour to much applause.
The circle was closed and the pack dispersed with dubious directions to the OnOn. 
Without Google coordinates to the restaurant, most of the drivers deviated except for the Google Guru Master Bates who arrived 10 minutes before everyone else.
A fine meal was enjoyed by all with a good menu and plenty of choice thanks to the good work of the Hares.

Marcus Skidius


Run 1616 - The Chinese New year run

Lun Lepolt

3 Feb 2019
Lun # 1616 Chiny New Yeal of the Pig 🐷 Lun
Hares: Just In & Lip Service
Number of Lunners: 40
Annivelsalios: Chicken Geolge 25, Flom Behind 25, Pussy Galole 320, Colonic Illigation380, Swill Loll 545, Sil Frakey 605
Scole: 8.5

Blight Sunny Day not Velly Cold. 40 Hashers gatheled for lun at Las Farolas Calle Sabina. Me got nominated as Sclibe even tho not last to allive. Maybe because me appear to be only token Oriental - 他妈的! Drat that fellow with buck teeth and googly-eye specs.

Most lunners made good effort to cum in pseudo tladitional Chiny outfits except for a couple of lunatics that couldn’t difflentiate between Chiny or Japany or Bedloom. ‘All same-same what?” - is what they say. 笨蛋!

Lun plenty good. Despite good markings, a few stlaggers at back of pack get lost, including Yours Tluly. Turns out Beel Stop not where pledicted by self ploclaimed psychic Colonic Illigation, so lun extended in 3km loop for lost patrol - Deja Vu again. Leminder, to all - beware of 冒充內行的人. Also fault of one Hasher (forget name) who lubbed out 'International Hash' markings in wlong way. So all went the Long Way.

Usual shenanigans at the Cilcle after lun. Lunners born in Yeal of Pork called in for Special Down Down. Nice Happy Ending with yummy Chiny Food at Chiny Lestaulant in La Cala after.

Happily Never After.

The End🐽




Run 1615 - THE      Robbie Burns Run      

HARE:  Semen Stains and Sir Prickalot  



Sunday 27th January 2019 dawned clear and bright, how boring just like any other day on Costa del Sol!      But unusually we had been commanded to assemble at Guadalmar car park, for a run starting at 12 noon,  


Playa de Guadalmar, is described as the only naturist beach in Malaga.  As we know from encounters with naked bodies that’s not so, but nevertheless we did not see any exhibitionists, perhaps as although bright and sunny a bit of a chilly breeze sufficient to shrink even the hardiest willies.


I was first to arrive and, breaking with tradition, was nominated as the scribe !  I realised that was going to create a bit of a problem as I was not staying even for the circle so writing something even vaguely  worthy of a Burns Day run was going to be impossible    Pero vamos a ver.


Registrations completed, latecomers having arrived, instructions on the run details given by the Hares Semen Stains and Sir Prickalot, the virgin introduced to the pack, a quick flash and it was off towards the sea. Some running, others briskly walking and the chatting amblers at the rear.  Along the beach and then after some checks, unusual in that they were marked by a cross in a circle, we meandered in a disorderly fashion, towards the hinterland.  


More checks and splits navigated by some with more professionalism than others, thus eight FRB missed the Whisky Stop, which was complete with haggis and tatties.    Then it was off on an amble towards the sea, splits, checks and lost trails negotiated we arrived back at the cars and the circle to join the lost FRB.  


I then had a beer and pissed off, pissed (over the top for sure, thanks to the Scottish ‘small’’ whisky.  The circle would then have proceeded,with a worthy 8.5 marks awarded, sinners sins cleansed, aniversarios recognised, and general mayhem.  Then off for the On On before the wee bastards closed the kitchen,

I have no idea what the Bard means but it says ‘HARES’ ad ‘BEER’ so must be a hash thing !



Robert Burns :


The Hares Address to their Hounds 


Scots, wha hae from Wallace bred,

Scots, wit hae these hares who led,

Welcome to your gory bed,—

Or to victorie.—


Now’s the day, and now’s the hour;

See the front o’ battle lour;

See approach proud the hash’s power,

Haggis and tatties.—


Who will be a-drunken-knave?

Who can find the trails na paved?

Who sae FRB limitless o brave?

—Let him turn and flie.—


Wha for Scotland’s king and law,

Freedom’s sword will strongly draw,

Free-Man stand, or Free-Man fall,

Let him follow trail.—


By Psycho and Gaelic Pasties’s woes and pains!

Wit your DFLs in gaggling chains!

Wha hounds will drain our dearest veins,

Let there be FREEDOM!


Lay the proud beer-nears low!

Victims fall going toe to toe!

Shitty beer’ll heavily flow!*

Hares bless thy Burns



RETURNERS  1 at least Gang Plank : 

VIRGINS  1 from Miami : 



               Suxit 5,  Just deliver 5,   Cabin Boy 15,    Red Hot Chilli 15,  Bleeding Bush 20,   

              Yogi 230,     Karma  420,        Kindergarten Cop 545,    El Cid 655   


Scribe :    El Cid

Run number  1614    20 January '19



Run number  1613    13 January '19

Hares – Flakey & Stiffanny

Run number !X·"$, so mumbled sir flakley. He promised it was going to best the run ever, virgin territory (in Mijas Costa!) (I think he was referring to the 72 virgins he has been dreaming of ever since he got called by ISIS to setup a hash in Damascus. Sorry got sidetracked yes, the hare bragging on about his run,

two beer stops (that's because you can't keep the pack together) and cava to keep everyone drunk enough and get good marking.

So a bunch of people turned up in black and multicolored attire to remember those who had died (incidentally we missed "One foot in the grave" and I hear Pussey galore was shortlisted for one frame. Unlucky for her as she survived the accident and the two empty frames were put up for bidding on Stairway to heaven. Justin and Seamen stains were the highest bidder worrying that no one would remember them if they don't secure the spot now.

What about the run, well it was a run just like another one. OK, maybe a little better and longer (but don't tell Just say when, she would have told you it was short and had no WW, fresh orange juice, carrot cake, etc).

Over all I think everyone was drunk enough to enjoy what a minimum run should be like (at least 10K) and a few people had their anniversaries eventhough some have not even walked a has let alone running it in a good while,

Anniversarios -
Dead End - 5
Sandpaper Sally -15
Titanic - 25
Lip Service - 60
Over and Done With - 65
Masterbates - 86
Aqua Sex -90
5 Knuckle - 100
Semen Stains - 200
Shagadelic -230
Just In - 245
Stiffany -425
Streaky - 470
Mummies Bot - 635

Number attending 39 hashers


On On. Salmonella


Run number  1612     6 January '19

Hares – Streaky and Titanic  

At – Loma del Flamenco (behind Mijas Golf)


This was a brilliant, sunny day and the start point was in an excellent location in the campo. All was ready … 37 hashers were waiting … but where was the RA? He arrived 20 minutes late, without apology, and then asked yours truly to be scribe!!! I'd been there 40 minutes by then! It was at this point that Stiffany proceeded to set haberdashery!!!

So ….... the hash eventually got started around half an hour late. It was the usual uphill down dale of most hashers. Many liked, it some didn`t. Some complained that the inclines were too steep. Well you can`t please em all. I thought it was an excellent run, well marked with varied terrain and about the right length. It eventually received a score of 7.4.

And talking of the circle, after arriving late, the GM left early ...and the RA!!!

So the GM Assist carried on courageously with only the most minimal of notice. The sun was about to go down so the circle began with several hashers still out on trail.

It has to be said that the circle was somewhat chaotic, with Titanic trying to influence the scores by doing what Titanic does ...tits and arse or what! People continued to come in from the trail, and Dogsy and Mary Hinge arrived by taxi!

But what transformed this hash and made it completely different from almost all the others was an most unfortunate accident.

Pussy Galore fell and broke her ankle!

Justin was a witness to this event. What follows is his account -

In brief, Pussy fell off a ledge - a rather tricky part of the trail, really - and started screaming loudly. I ran back and together with Lip Service pulled her out from the bushes and then managed to bring her to a flattish area where we could put her down - all this with yapping dogs jumping up against us.

Dipper then went on ahead to find a suitable place for the ambulance to arrive and phoned 911. He co-ordinated most of the rescue operation from there on. Quicksand, Sweet and Low, Lip Service and I stayed with Pussy for a while, but then I went to where the group was waiting for the ambulance to see if anyone had any pain-killers. It turned out that Chilly Pepper had some iboprufeno - and had had this on her when she was standing next to Pussy earlier on - so I tried to get back to give the painkiller to Pussy but got hopelessly lost  in the bushes and finally ended up at the Beer Stop on a failed mission.

The others stayed with Pussy throughout and kept her warm, although Quicksand took the opportunity to make a photo documentary of the whole thing... Lip Service was freezing throughout all this, as they had all given their sweaters to Pussy, only to find out later on that she had had her jacket in her rucksack all the time.

Afterwards, Brown Skid volunteered to drive Pussy's car to Calahonda together with Sweetand Low, while Quicksand accompanied Pussy to the hospital. Apparently she is going to be operated on tonight (Monday 7 Jan) and is now waiting for a call, while jabbing herself in the stomach with painkiller, not very nice.



Your Scribe



Hares: Titanic & Streaky