RUN 1012   9th December 2007   La Cala

Hares – Karma & Dipper

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Once upon a time in Andalucia, a motley crew of semi attired scruffbags descended upon a rubbish tip behind Mercadona in La Cala. All credit to the Hares however, as this particular rubbish tip, was equipped with, alfresco toilets and a waiting room fully equipped with sofas and chairs, which in itself created a flurry of activity from the assembled hashers, who were all seeking to upgrade their homes. After a considerable amount of pontificating and procrastination a circle was eventually “assembled,” (evidence that hashers do come flatpacked) and with much prompting our GM, “peace be upon him,” managed to carry out the introduction to this particular Hash and to those poor deluded fools who were visiting, or indeed, Virgins. The Hares were coerced into the circle and proceeded to explain the finer details of this epic assault on the local countryside, although one of the Hares seemed to have little or no idea what signs had been used, or indeed what they represented. (Bit of a give away, there Ken!!!).

The run eventually set off into the distance, to find an assortment of checks, checkbacks, (that is a T, Ken) split trails, false trails and such, marked in chalk, flour and paper. There was excellent use of the countryside, a varied, sometimes confusing system of marking and some truly wonderful scenery, all of which was slightly overshadowed by a grinning buffoon lurking around in the pack trying to entice the hashers to try each and every false trail and gurgling with delight at every curse or blasphemy he heard. He nearly fell over laughing when “Bigus Dickus” fell over for the second time. Perhaps Hares should stay in their cars, at the beer stop or gloat from a distance, thus reducing the excess on their personal accident insurance. All in all, it was a very enjoyable, well set Hash. Pat on the back for the Hares, or maybe a knife in the back, if you happen to be “Bigus Dickus.”

The circle was again duly assembled, and with much prompting, mostly from “Gangplank,” our erstwhile GM, “peace be upon him,” managed to perform his duties admirably as usual, with one exception. After introducing “Hash Shit” who led the marking which consisted of a good number of nine’s interspersed with a smattering of three’s four’s five’s and six’s, he reached into his pocket for his abacus and after much deliberation awarded a score of eight point seven!!!!!!! Come on Flakey, dig deep and buy back the negatives, then you can give them the correct average score. He then handed over to his RA’ness, for the purpose of cleansing our souls, or is it arseholes? The RA proceeded to add two more handles to the legend that is the “Mijas Hash,” by christening “Mushy Peas” and “Bigus Dickus.”  At this point, and as a matter of protocol, the RA, who had actually been a grinning buffoon, oops I meant to say Hare, handed over the proceedings to an apprentice “oik.” Said apprentice “oik” then proceeded to make a complete Bolognese of this very reverend ceremony. However, during his rant, he did manage to get Dipper the sleeve (2-1) although not by design, as he was forced by the braying pack, to introduce the implement of shame. He also managed to deplete the stocks of bottled Cruzcampo, mostly into “Gangplank” and the Soviet Block branch of the “Mijas Hash.” The circle was once again returned to the very capable GM “peace be upon him,” who brought the event to a close.

If you wish to know about the “On On On’s” go to www.whogivesashit.com, as I was not there.

Quote of the day was from Karma Chameleon, “We are running out of water, because all those bastards have been drinking it.” 

Keep the faith and may your powder stay dry, on on, Fender Bender.