Run 1689 - 05 Apr 2020
Hash Stats:
Hares: Stiffanny and Sandra Bollocks
Marks for the Run: 9.99
Location: Zoom Virtual Trail Campo Mijas
Number of Hounds: 18
Visitors: None
Distance: 305 metres
Virgins: None
Returners: Everybody
Anniversaries: Same as three weeks ago
Max Elevation: 10m Completion time: 1hr 10 minutes.
Hash Narrative:
The Hares Stiffanny & S-Bollocks had advised this was going to be “Jungle Run” and they did not disappoint. From the starting location of the “Jungle bar” I knew this was going to be tough run!
On On across the open grass area, through some gates leading to the lower Jungle area known as the “Orchard” came the first marking a “Split trail” I took the left trail only to find a “F” not too far along at what looked like an head hunters “Burial” ground?
On-back down the old train sleeper beam I was back on track, passed various citrus producing fruit trees to another what I thought was a dead end! But no, the trail went on up a 2-meter-high stone wall into an impenetrable bamboo forest.
This was getting really tough, picking up the trail again, and thru most of the Bamboo, the trail took a strange turn into what looked like a cave structure containing mechanical motors!! It was a bit of a tight squeeze but I found myself coming out into what I can only described as open entombment area, (some said it is where their Jacuzzi used to be?? - No).
Climbing out of this death hole and past a “Gorilla” came the next obstacle a crocodile infested Lagoon! (Some people call them swimming pools! But this was not one of them). Luckily for me there was a disused dug out canoe close to the shore which will do me fine to cross the expanse of water, (No it was not a disused Jacuzzi). Safely over the other side of the lagoon and on solid ground the trail passed another one of the “Locals” with horrible starry eyes! Get me out of here! Oh no, the trail dropped off into another water way under a bridge and out into a wonderous water fall! “Viagra falls”
There was only one way out, a 5 meter climb up the face! Passing Fred Flintstone and Barney on the way up helped to restore some sanity to this run, once at the top, I skirted the top ridge looking back at the treacherous drop! Thru more dense undergrowth I came to a small tropical dwelling, who could have lived out here? On the side of the house was the name “Blue” and there was a strange smell of dead chickens around the place! There was also a strange figurine at the side of the hut, John Wayne? No, it’s all too bizarre! On On to a much welcomed “BS” marking, at last some BEER!
The second half of the run took me out on to the tarmac and this crazy Jungle. I now had “Eve” the hound with me (Also a bag of bottles for the recycling bin). On on, to my first “Check” this had me going the wrong way, again! but not for long. Another “Check” in quick succession at the recycling bins came as a bit of a breather, the choices we quite simple! Down a dead-end road or carry on!
On-on and flour was soon spotted back onto a dirt track leading into the “Green zone” and a “Split-trail” on left back deeper into the “Green zone” this only turned out to be another false trail but this was not found out until I passed through what can be called the “Jurassic park” section of the run, wild animals, a foul swamp, the “CB” marking was a pleasing sight to get me out of this hell whole, returning to the split, I was back in lush green pastures, a pygmy would have struggled to live in this meter high grass. On On up the fertile valley track, next was the “On In” markings, fantastic I am home and still ALIVE!
I greeted “Stiffanny” with a jubilation and relief, what a great run and I so happy its over, next in was “Mummies Boy” mumbling that he had done the same run many years back in his motor cycle and his piles where playing up!
Not far behind was “Clonic” using a interesting walking technique to stamp down the wickedly long grass! Next in came “Kinder Garden Kop” Great really great!!! Better than nude Morris dancing!!! The penultimate hashers “Yogi” whom was only interested in one thing “Drink - Drink”! Oh, I nearly forgot about our Chinese visiting hasher! I think she is still out there, if so, the Government are right ---- “Stay at home”.
On On - Sir Flakey.
Next Virtual Run #1689
Sunday 05 Apr 2020
13:00 hrs
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