Hash Stats:

Hares: Just Say When and Tesla Tickle
Marks for the Run: 9.3
Location: Just off the A355 close north of La Cañada Shopping, Marbella

Number of Hounds: 19
Visitors: Blanka Wanka and Fuukme

Virgins: Non
Returners: Not Counted
Anniversarios:
None

Distance: ? km Completion time: Over 2 hours

Hash Narrative:

SURVIVORS S. 31 EP. 1708

Welcome to today's episode of “Survivors”!

We are your hosts for today: I'm Just Say When and Tesla Ticklers is here on my right. As usual we have prepared a serious of arduous tests for our contestants and we hope you will be entertained by their struggle to overcome the most challenging of situations and obstacles.

As some of the usual contestants succumbed to last week's tests – the base-jumping with Bargain Hash Parachutes provided by Haberdashery took a heavy toll – we have some new contestants here: Blanka Wanka, all the way from Madrid and Fuuk Me, all the way from Montreal, pardon my French.

We begin with the Waterfall Quest, where contestants, divided into the “M” and “W” groups have to chop their way through the jungle in search of an ancient waterfall. There will be many dangers lurking in the shades, such as sewage systems without lids and a range of sinister amphibians, ribbit!

And they're off! I think it's Bloody Pinocchio leading the way, with Nicky Bitch and Garden Stools just following behind; will anyone be able to keep up with their blistering pace? Certainly not Happy Days and Lip Service, who seem to have collapsed right at the onset of this race and are now looking for some shade where they can lick their wounds (and have a few beers while they are at it). Lip Service has just told my fellow presenter that she can't run because “her uncle is rather poorly”. Oh dear, I do hope her aunt is by his side!

Hang on, I'm getting reports here of further casualties.. it seems Sweet and Low has had an argument with a tree and has withdrawn from the contest. And King Canute has been hit by some negative travel advice issued by his Bundskanzler and has had to turn around – I believe his Fraulein will now keep him in a 14-day quarantine; what else is new?

Let's go over now to the waterfall, our helicopter is waiting right here, TT, after you!

As you know, once the contestants have reached the waterfall, they need to launch themselves from the top in a barrel and release themselves from that barrel once it has bounced into the lake underneath. The biggest risk of this test is the actual water in the lake, which has more germs and viruses than your average Wuhan lab... Not to mention the mozzies!

And here they come! It seems that most of today's contestants have found the waterfall without too many problems – the fact that there was a huge white Tesla with a Hash sticker parked in front of the secret entry might have helped, I don't know – and now it's time to distribute the vessels in which they will do their daring descent. Oh dear, someone has turned off the waterfall.. well, never mind, let's all climb up the waterfall instead, that could be fun too.

OK, so not everyone has made it to the top.. I'm sure our clean-up crew will take care of that, so let's not linger here too long. It's time for the second part of our contest: the quest to the peak of the famous “Concha de tu Madre” , a much revered landmark for the natives. Both Roger the Cabin Boy and Just In are now doing a bold outside maneuver here and they might just get there first. Our panel of judges are deliberating right now if this is within the rules or not, but it seems they might get away with it.

We'll be right back after the break!

And here we are at the end of the quest. I'm standing right where we began today's rip-roaring contest and we are waiting for the first arrival. I can see a reedy shadow emerging from the jungle and, yes, it's Bloody Pinocchio! What a surprise, not...

Congratulations Pinocchio! What happened with your pursuers? “Er.. I lost them just after the sign that said “Welcome to Antropophagite Village..”” “They were getting a bit hungry and were chatting about rabbit snares and how to distinguish edible berries from poisonous ones when they were stopped by a couple of the villagers. I think they were told they could come over for dinner, so that's ok”

There you have it, Ladies and Gentlemen – a true winner and gent; always concerned about the welfare of our female contestants! Oh, and who is that toddling out of the woods? Wow, it's Mummy's Boy! Are these antropoppodoudles, or whatever they are called having a Weight Watcher's meeting, or what?

Handing over to you Mummy's Boy – it seems only one contestant has made it out of the jungle, so instead of a Survivors episode, this looks more like one of those Malaga (pthew!) Hashes we have heard about. What would you say is today's episode worth?

“Oh, I think that's definitely worth a 9.3!” “ A very nice episode indeed and almost like one of the Hash groups you just mentioned – no bullshit, nice and and short and sweet. Thank you JSG and TT!

Just Comment In'

OnOn at Restaurante Venta El Barranco

Following on from their outstanding run the hares had discovered this little gem of an OnOn.

Located just up the A355 from our circle Restaurante Venta El Barranco featured a tented al fresco dining area with a gorgeous view down over Marbella to a sapphire blue Mediterranean sparkling in the distance.

Sadly, apart from the hares, only three regular MH3 hashers turned up to enjoy this treat. Our hosts took great care to ensure we went home well fed and virus free. Tables were generously spaced. Cutlery sealed and servers fully masked at all times.

Drinks were served with your scribe enjoying a deliciously cool tinto verano as a gentle breeze wafted up from the sea below.

Two generous courses followed to almost unanimous acclaim from the attending hashers. The only hint of a complaint came from Mummy’s Boy who felt his curry was too low on the vindaloo scale. That said, his plate was suspiciously empty as the table was cleared.

By now the Med had disappeared into an inky blackness beyond the lights of Marbella. It was time to go.

Thank you hares for a great run and a fine meal.

On On scribe
CB

Next Run #1708

Sunday 16 Aug 2020

17:00 hrs

Lots of Shade
&
Some Water for Dogs

Coming to the OnOn?
Please Help Your Hares
By Registering Below

Hares:
Just Say When
and
Tesla Tickle



Covid-19 New Normal in effect.

Circle: Just off the A355 close north of La Cañada Shopping, Marbella

Enticingly close to a forested mountain. Walkers and runners trail. Some new territory

Navigation to the Circle: Google Maps link to the Circle.

Directions:
See Google maps link above.

From Coin/Alhaurin El Grande join the A355 Ojen/Marbella road and go towards La Canada/Marbella. After Big Mat and the cemetario turn left and back up the road you came down and after km 33 sign park among large Eucalyptus trees on your right. You will find the Yogacentre Marbella here.

From Marbella at La Canada shopping centre take the Ojen/Coin A355 and after about 2.5 km turn right at the Eucalyptus trees. Yogacentre Marbella.

OnOn: Restaurante Venta El Barranco Marbella

Antigua Carretera Marbella-Ojen, Km 3.4, 29610 Ojén, Málaga
Tel: +34 952 881 080

Navigation to The OnOn: Google Maps link to the OnOn.

OnOn Menu: Please help your hares and register your menu selection.

Hash Name *One submission per Hasher please.

E-mail *

Starter *Select One                                        Gazpacho                                        Mixed Salad                                        Tomate Con Ajo                                        Berenejas Miel                                    

Main *Select One                                        Secreto                                        Lomo (probably pork) en salsa                                        Sardines al Limon                                        Pollo al Horno o Curry                                    

Price: €15.00
Includes ½ bottle of wine per person.

Lost Soles or Info:
Just say when tel: 642 562 524