Run - 1841 - 5th February 1st Anniversary (Divorce) Run

Run 1841 - 5/2/2023

The 1st Anniversary/Divorce Hash

Hares: The Happy Couple: Cardinal Colonic Irrigation & Gang Bang

Location: Lew Hoad’s

Visitors: Guano (Walter), John Cleese & Horny Tail from Stockholm Hash.

Virgin: Peter from Wales

39 hashers

Run Score: 8.75

Anniversarios: From Behind 175, Achy Breaky Arse 51, Pause Button 60, Where’s the Off Switch 71, Pussy Galore 411 & Master Bates 185

As we assembled at the spot of our family’s first hash nearly two years ago, we all remembered how the police appeared and the circle dispersed within seconds!

The sunny, warm opening circle was decorated with boxes of Just Say When’s homegrown, delicious lemons, oranges and grapefruits. The beers were cold and the vibe was high as hashers, hounds and hangers-on amassed. 

Today was not a profitable one for haberdashery, unlike last week, layers were shed not donned.

The hash was full of surprises; dash of death road crossings, squelching through sludgy dark tunnels, navigating bamboo groves, trudging along dry river beds, flour coated dog poo markings and a whole naked section where the flour has apparently been eaten by wild boar (which has an entirely different meaning in my house but ...on on!)

There were a few front running bastards but on the whole the pack stayed together and reached the beer, cava, crisp and gummy bear stop at more or less the same time. Our hosting hare generously refilled our glasses, popping his cheery cork as often as he was able (age permitting).

The in-bound trail revealed the diversity of Mijas - encampments in the campo, hairy Scottish style cows, rambling, traditional fincas, clover covered knolls, half built exotic Arabic influenced villas, metal “merchants” yards and shabby industrial units.

The closing circle was presided over by our delightful GM Sandra Bollocks- (Sandra not Sandy, Peter) who eagerly spotted and punished crossed legs and right hand drinking. From Behind and his delectable co-counsel Blanka Wanka took the role of RA and coercive divorce dream team - our harmonious hares were duct taped together, decorated with paper chains and toilet paper to commemorate their first year of marriage together (and I’m not sure why or what the strange piece of bamboo signified or even where it ended up!?). They were silenced with large pieces of their own wedding cake and censored with beer down-downs before inevitably choosing to remain married rather than be set alight by the rather disappointed Blanka.

The Palace of India beckoned and the Circle was closed but not before the majority were declared Swedish or Swedish look likes and beer was generously distributed as Colonic Hare sang a Swedish inspired song and dud instructions were given for next week’s valentine’s run…