Run 1679 - 02 Feb 2020
Contender for Run of the Year 2020
Hash Stats:
Hares: Salmonella Rusdie and Just Say When
Marks for the Run: 9.5
Location: Outskirts of Pizarra Village
Number of Hounds: 29
Visitors: Malaga H3 Kennel; Choir Boy and Hangover Exhibitionist
Virgins: Helen, Sandra, Moton, Martha and James.
Returners: James (now formally 'Slim Bastard')
Anniversaries:
RedHot Chilli 50 runs
Cabin Boy: 55 runs
Speed Bumps: 120
Distance: 9.75km Elevation Change: 442m Completion time: 2 hours and 51 minutes.
Hash Narrative:
Hi all, first I would like to congratulate the Hares on a breathtaking run. It's hands down, the best run I have ever participated in. It must have taken a tremendous effort to organise and coordinate the trail. It left nothing out. As this is my first time as the Scribe, and to try and give this run the write up it deserves, I would like to exercise some poetic license in my account......
Pizarra was the run location; a fitting end to my vacation. We all arrived from 2 till 3, but weren't quite sure where we should be. 'Egg shell', 'Lilo', 'Sweet and Low', all argued over where to go. Up and down, left and right, there were no Hashers in our sight. I thought is this part of the fun? We were too early for this run.
An hour passed as more rolled in, out stepped ' Sir Flakey', with his grin. I looked upon the hill in fear, but at the top was loads of beer. 'Stiffanny' said “before this trail, you must buy from my rolling sale.” I said “OK, what have you got?” She replied “just try the lot.” My head is big, my belly wide, there's nothing I can get inside. I said “Stiff, you've lost this fight.” 'Sir Flakey' said “this bastard's tight”. He said “ah ha, we have a name.” Then pondered exploiting my shame.
When all arrived, a circle made, there's no more time for those delayed. Visitors, Virgins, Returners too; 'Sir Flakey' ordered what to do. After that we found the track, of course, I started at the back. The start was tough, through rocks and trees, I heard complaints about their knees. But all were game and muscled on, front running bastards were long gone. Checkpoints, viewpoints, all up hill, my legs were sore but what a thrill!
An hour in and voices near, I hoped they'd all stopped for a beer. What joy, they had, we're nearly done. 'Salmonella' said “we've just begun.” He pointed out a cross on top, a gorgeous view, a massive drop. He said “my friend”, I shed a tear, “below that cross is your next beer”. On we went, toward the top, 'Pinocchio' ran, he didn't stop. I felt the pain and lost my throttle, then spoke to 'Genie, In A Bottle'. He reassured me, “almost there, you'll get your beers then you won't care.” 'Marcus Skidius' marched on by, the sun, now low, across the sky. I saw the cross, then said a prayer, how the hell did I get there?
Drinks and laughs were shared alike, then 'Just Say When' got on the mic. She said “remember, the other way, where only 'Machos' dare to stray. The other path should be a breeze, for those too tired and those bad knees.” So off we went into the fray, to end this awesome run that day. When all were down and at the bottom, with hardships done and pain forgotten. 'Sir Flakey' said “we should be fine, to make that circle one more time. Now all step in and don't be shy, don't ask questions, don't ask why. You see that bastard over there, the one whose knackered, with no hair. I've something that I'd like to say; it's that poor bastard's naming day”. 'Corona' virus, passed and drunk, tolls were paid, Cruzcampo sunk. Lucky me, I'd made my pleas, 'Sir Flakey' said “get on your knees.” Down I went, just on the hour, before the man who held the flour. Beer poured and flour basted, by Christ that got me pretty wasted. “Now we all know this bastard's tight, but that name just does not sit right. From now on, all, refer to him, as 'Fat Bastard's' brother, 'Slim'.
Up I got, the sun was gone, it's surely time for the 'On On.' We called the restaurant, they said “no, you want your 'On On', on you go. A running club, for drinking beer? You rowdy bastards can't eat here.” I must admit, I gave a grin, the 'On On' moved for Indian. What a day and what a run, the awesome crowd were so much fun. I thought as I drank my last beer, I can't wait to come back here!
There you have it. A big shout out to 'Salmonella Rusdie' and 'Just Say When', once again, for being the Hares and doing such a fantastic job. Let's not forget 'Sir Flakey' for his great circle work and for christening me, 'Stiffanny' for keeping everybody in uniform and 'Sweet and Low' for taking coin and making sure all tight bastard's paid. Thanks to everyone else who was there, it was a right laugh. On behalf of myself and the 'Bastard Family', we would put this one in the running for 'Run of the Year!' Hope to see you all soon......
'Slim Bastard'.
Next Run #1679
Sunday 02 Feb 2020
15:00 hrs
Not To Be Missed
Spectacular Views
Mostly New Territory
Walkers and Macho Trails
Keep Scrolling Down
Make Sure You Read All Run Information
Hares: Salmonella Rusdie and Just Say When
Circle: Outskirts of Pizarra Village
Not to be missed. 75% new territory with historical points. An easy walkers trail or a full on JSW macho trail.
Navigation to the Circle:Google Maps link to the circle.
Lat. 36°45'43.4" N Lon. -4°42'05.0" W
Directions: ***See navigation above***
From Fuengirola go towards Alhaurin el Grande and the BP / Los Morenos roundabout where you turn left towards Coin.
At the A355 flyover before Coin, fork right onto the A355 heading inland away from Marbella. Follow this road for a few kms until reaching the A357, Malaga to Campillos road. At this junction you go over the first large roundabout and left at the second, entering the A357 northbound towards Campillos.
Go past the BP garage and approx. 2.5kms after the Rio Grande bridge, fork off right towards Pizzara (after transport depot and Sala Cuore). Follow this road over the River and upto T junction where you turn right onto the A7054. Take first left after approx. 400 metres and follow HHH signs.
From Marbella, take the A355 to Coin and pick up this route or from Malaga take the A357 towards Campillos and again pick up this route.
OnOn: El Capricho De La MinaCalle Jardines, 29569 Cerralba, Málaga.
Navigation to The OnOn:Google Maps link to the OnOn.
OnOn Menu: Off the card. Outstanding value. Click here to view menu.
Price: €whatever you want it to be.
Lost Soles or Info:
Phone: +34 642 562-524.