Run No 1681 - 16 Feb 2020
Hash Stats:
Hares: Aphrodisiac and Knickerless
Marks for the Run: 8.6
Location: Voltecado
Number of Hounds: 28 or 29
Visitors: Special Price and Airhead
Distance: ?? k
Virgins: Ruth and Lewis.
Returners: -
Anniversaries:
Sandra Bollox 5
Suxit 20
Inside Her 20
Marcus Skidius 50
Jerry Can 260
Max Elevation:??m Completion time: ??.
Hash Narrative:
Off to Valtocado we drove on a beautiful warm and sunny Sunday to discover the Google Map position posted by the Hares, Aphrodisiac and Nickerless, was incorrect but thanks to a lady with a grey horse which she was washing we were correctly directed to the Hash site where we found Just Say When's car parked beside three very large white letters in the sand “HHH” . It was very fortunate Google Masterbates did not attempt to find the start of the run as he would have been furious and given lectures on how to use the Google Maps so peace reigned THANK GOODNESS.
As the harriers began arriving the car par was filling up when suddenly a 30 year old VESPA scooter arrived driven by Pepper Grinder with his wife, Over and Done With, on the back smiling happily and delighted to be there she said. Yogi staggered out of Marcus Skidius car with great praise for the pilot of his aircraft (EASY JET FROM DONCASTER) who flew to Malaga but could not land as it was thick fog so diverted to Seville where they landed, refuelled where the captain paid with his credit card, took off and returned to Malaga Airport and landed. He then caught the train to Fuengirola and straight up to the Hash. What a man!
Chicken George was very noticeable with his huge mobile home/camper complete with Jack the Labrador dog
Kindergarten very happily called the Circle at 1500 on the dot…. Happy because there was a small boy hashing (nine years old) and Kinder because of his many many years as a young person teacher felt completely in his element and showed the Hashers how one deals with a young lad with a football and a penchant for running. As GM, Kintergarden, sincerely attempted to find Hashers with a telephone who could do the run and produce a map at the end with the trail highlighted. This was found to be very difficult as the people with this facility either were not doing the run or had not enough battery power on the phones…..But by Jove he tried!!
The Hares then attempted to explain the markings which were laid by Nickerless (that not how to spell the name) in a very snaky/shaky fashion to the delight of the Circle. Aphro took over and cleared up a few points then Kinter finally explained to the visitors and virgins how the markings should work. They asked for a count of hands for those wishing to join in the On On at El Galope. This proved to be 16 runners who were reminded by Aphro that if they said they were going then they should go??
There were visitors from Norway, Special Price and Airhead and virgins from Scotland who went by the names of Ruth and Lewis to add to the colourful collection of 29 keen Hashers.
Hash Flash made the memorable photos of the assembled Hash House Harriers all ready and willing to charge into the hills of Valtocado
After the off Mummy's Boy, Yogi, Semen Stains, King Canut and Cradle Snatcher were seen to be lagging behind. But soon Semen and Snatcher were off after discussing with Canut the best way to reach the Beer Stop without running the whole route and he advised going reverse on the On In trail. Meanwhile Yogi disappeared backwards, Mummy's Boy striding out along the wrong route and Semen and Snatcher going hammer and tongs along the On In run with Oscar, the dog running alongside happily
Semen and Snatcher almost reached the Beer Stop to be told by phone that the Beer Stop was finished and the runners were off. So they headed back on the On In … first runner to finish on the Wimps Trail was the Norwegian visitor, Airhead, followed by Sweet and Low and JerryCan. But the FRB winner was the wee 9 year old boy, Lewis, who overtook Just Say When who was not amused.
Refreshments were taken as the Circle was called. The visitors and virgins were called in to remember names and the wee boy, Lewis was allowed to play with his football in the circle and had to drink a water down down for running too fast at the expense of the serious hashers which was considered to be taking the Piss…(No swearing in front of the boy) and being coached by Kindergarten. Even the expletive FECK made by Marcus Skidius was not acceptable by Kindergarten! This reduction in swear words made the songs a bit difficult and several Hashers were punished for not having a song to sing when asked by the GM
The Hares were called in to face the music of receiving marks from the Hashers on the quality or otherwise of the run they had set. Very good marks generally were haded out and the average, calculated as usual by Mummy's Boy, was 8.6. It has been mooted that the Hash Shit Holder (YOGI BEAR) if he received yet another Hash Shit on 29 March would have to receive a whole toilet …. time will tell
Now we learned that Yogi had gone to sleep in Marcus's car and had not run at all but escaped punishment and was feeling better. Later when the Archdeacon, From Behind, was performing his cleansing of sins Yogi stepped in to point out that the damage to Nickerless face was very hard to explain! What happens in the Hash stays in the Hash. But it was never explained how the bruises and marks got on her face. Aphrodisiac was very quiet about it but smiling inwardly
The Aniversarios were, Sandra Bollox 5, Suxit 20 (on Mijas Hash but many many more in UK etc), Inside Her, SUXIT wife/love/partner 20 runs (also just on this Hash), Marcus Skidius 50 and received a badge …. but severely punished by icing for wearing a HARE shirt when he was not a Hare and finally Jerry Can has done 260 runs.
GM, called out all Yorkies (not dogs but persons from Yorkshire in England-shire) for a drink, then all the Scots which brought out the temporary willing Piss Pourer, Sandra Bollocks.
After a glorious Circle in the warm evening sunshine the closure being one hour before EL GALOPE kitchen opens it was proposed all should go to partake of a few refreshments as aperitifs before the On On
Next week hares Sir Flakes and Stiffany were not present to collect the Hash kit. It was announced the run would be at Cartama on Sunday 23 February 2020
Your Scribe says good night and good running Yours aye. Semen Stains
Next Run #1681
Sunday 16 Feb 2020
15:00 hrs
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Hares:Aphrodisiac and Knickerless
Circle: In the Mijas Hills Near Arroyo Seco
Navigation to the Circle:Google Maps link to the circle.
Lat. 36°35'39.0"N Lon 4°41'27.0"W
Directions: ***See navigation above***
From Fuengirola:
Take the road to Alhaurín A7053, turn of right at the sign VALTOCADO. Follow this road, turn right into Camino Juan Blanco (opposite church).
Continue on white concrete road.
At Camino de la Ventilla, go straight on.
Drive (HHH sign)down steep dip and straight on to circle site.
From Mijas:
1. Take A-387 Mijas-Alhaurín Road
2. Turn into Camino de Valtocado opposite Venta los Condes
3. Keep going downhill on tarmac road to the little church on right and turn left into Camino Juan Blanco (opposite church)
4. Continue on white concrete road
5. At Camino de la Ventilla, go straight on
6. HHH sign. Drive down steep dip and straight on to circle site.
OnOn: Venta La Galope
Diseminado Atalaya, 183, 29650 Mijas, Málaga
Navigation to The OnOn:Google Maps link to the OnOn.
To the ONON Venta La Galope.
At the church turn left to the A7053 direction Fuengirola.
From the turn drive 3.3km, on the left you will see a brown house. Slow down here take the next turn right into Camino Cuesta Pescadores.
OnOn Menu: No fixed menu.
Price: € Whatever you want it to be.
Lost Soles or Info:
Phone: +34 677 993-720