Run - 1851 -16th April 2023

Run 1851

Date: Sunday 16 rd April 2023

Hares: Shagadelic & Aquasex (standing in for Croner 19)

Location: Near Mijas Pueblo

Hashers: 29

Scribe: JerryCan

Confusion reigned at the beginning. Cars parked, hashers assembled, but no hares and no

beers, which turned out to be waiting 500 metres up the hill, parked by the side of the road.

Not a good place for a circle!

The hares told us to go down the road and look for an arrow, which we duly spotted and

trotted off into the trees. That was the easy bit! Struggling to find flour, we came upon a

check…and then nothing! Five minutes later I heard the distant call of ‘OnOn’ and the pack

made its way downhill towards a split. After a further ten minutes searching for flour, the

hares were called and they said to look on the road and then go through the tunnel. So down

the road we went, to where we first parked, and under the road to the tunnel. At this point

Golden Cascade phoned the hares for further instructions and I overheard the words ‘when

they come back from the tunnel, go left’. So the tunnel was obviously a checkback!

Having safely crossed the road, the frontrunners were almost flattened by cyclists speeding

down the steep slope which the trail went up. And then after a bit of gently undulating trail, up

and up and more up, to the beer stop on the road at the top of the hill.

Frontrunners were then directed up an unlikely looking trail ascending up the mountain. I

opted to go down the road with the ‘non-frontrunners’, expecting the frontrunners to join the

trail. But there was no sign of them and the terrain looked inhospitable. Glad I didn’t do that, I

thought, as I strolled down the road, over some charred debris, and back to the cars. About

five minutes later, the frontrunners came chugging in. Their trail had just gone uphill to a

checkback.

The circle (two straight lines on opposite sides of the road) was called and immediately

interrupted by cries of ‘petrol’ as two cars and then the forestry police zoomed up the hill. The

hares were called in and Colonic started with a call of ‘Hash Shit’, doubtless wanting to put

his new bog seat to good use. Shaggy had already been tested for size and it was a good fit!

However, others disagreed and the hares emerged with a generous average of 7.8.

At this point, Gang Bang took the circle and called in beloved hubby Colonic. We’d noticed at

the (false) start that Colonic had turned up wearing a fetching pair of blue carpet slippers. He

promptly went home to change footwear, but no chance of escaping punishment. As he sat

on the ice, Gang Bang explained how he’d been ready for the run since mid-morning,

berating Gang Bang for being slow to get ready. Colonic demonstrated (not very well) how to

drink beer from the sleeve. The usual order of proceedings was then changed to allow

Colonic more time to cool his bum. Returners (too many to name) were called in and

Anniversarios announced: Dog Face: 20; Big Mouth: 25; Big Brother: 30; Sandra Bollox: 85;

and Pister Bradwee: 95.

When Colonic took charge, principal hare Shagadelic was called in, and again, and again,

and again! Sitting on the ice, drinking from the sleeve, she insisted on having non-alcoholic

beer, so as not to waste any of the yukky semi-seco cava she’d bought. Co-hares Aquasex

and Crooner 19 were brought in at some point, with the latter joining Shaggy on the ice.

Genie in a Bottle also took a seat for constantly playing with his phone. And that was it for

DownDowns – I think Colonic was so obsessed with Shaggy’s misdemeanours he forgot

about everybody else! The junior choir (Off Switch and Pause Button) tried to take over the

singing with some very inappropriate under-age lyrics – can’t imagine where they learnt those

songs!

The arrangements for the OnOn were typically ‘Shaggy’ – the proposed restaurant was up for

sale, the owner of the replacement venue wouldn’t open up for less than 20, so it was a

choice between Palace of India (apparently lined up for next week) and some other place in

El Coto. Everybody was fed up with Indians, so the other place got the vote.