Hash Flash - Seaman Staines - Run 1649 - 21 Jul 2019 - Photo 18**.jpeg

Scribe for AGM Run 1649

Hi there my fellow Hashers! Elephant Ass here from the other side!!well am I glad I never did that god damn 40 degrees down a mountain crap! Should imagine that it was hotter than where I am now, hell ?

So it all began at las lagunas where you all got the coach to Ardelas ( the yellow run from the 30th )

Fortunately, you had some guys who did that run 6 weeks ago like that marvelous, handsome, well endowed, humorous, funny pillar of the community Colonic Irrigation who no doubt was an asset to you all on this day of too long, too hot running shit? Steering you all in the right direction and saving lives no doubt?

Anyway, AGM stands for ....All Gone Mad! So who went out and who stayed in and who was elected? Same old crap and useless bunch that miss managed it before except that marvelous, handsome, well endowed, humorous, funny pillar of the community Colonic Irrigation who stays as RA for the 10th year running. What an Achievement. Some say that he should be knighted for such a spectacular FREE service to the Hash but who am I to say? Still, it had to be said and who better than me Elephant Ass from beyond the grave.

So, I’m looking from above yesterday and saw that it all starts from the bus stop at the top of the mountain down, down, down to a fine beer stop with Cava, Sausage in pastry ( sort of an American Hot dog, I think) potato chips and cheese biscuits.

Then you went up and up and up ( typical JSW) to another BS with no shade 42 degrees! ( over 100 F in American language) The run then went Down AGAIN! To swim stops and river crossings. Our wonderful RA the marvelous, handsome, well endowed, humorous, funny pillar of the community Colonic Irrigation took the longer route with a few others like Seaman, Jerry, Sperm, Cradle and others including a guy that looks like Dipper as well as a few others.

Finally reaching the on in in front of most people Colonic and his Disciples were greeted by the air conditioned coach.

Once all returned, some had to be rescued due to the blistering heat, the then GM Sir Flakey, called the sit down circle.

First to be chastised was our marvelous, handsome, well endowed, humorous, funny pillar of the community Colonic Irrigation for lost property ( stolen if you ask me) then the awards for the 30th Hares, mugs! T-shirts for all except our marvelous, handsome, well endowed, humorous, funny pillar of the community Colonic Irrigation who was left out due to an admin error ( well him really as he didn’t confirm his attendance until the previous day apparently?)

Anyway, after everyone moaning on the run the hares got a score of 9.5 or near abouts.

Just as the GM finished announcing the new committee ( see below) our marvelous, handsome, well endowed, humorous, funny pillar of the community Colonic Irrigation the RA was told to cut the circle short as we would be late for the on on and the bus driver had to be back for his dinner at 8 or something.

So, no circle from our marvelous, handsome, well endowed, humorous, funny pillar of the community Colonic Irrigation. A great shame which some hashers we’re looking forward to all day! Some only attended to witness a no doubt would have been superb performance from our marvelous, handsome, well endowed, humorous, funny pillar of the community Colonic Irrigation. So, on to the restaurant with the meal financed by the MH3 for all to enjoy.🤔 Our wonderful, did I mention-before, marvelous, handsome, well endowed, humorous, funny pillar of the community Colonic Irrigation lead you all in bum titty with verses from Dipprrs brother too!

Sing songs on the bus on the way home were enjoyed by all.

From me Elephant Ass I would like to take this opportunity to thank last years committee for giving me a great send off, a great 30th and more than anything re appointing that marvelous, handsome, well endowed, humorous, funny pillar of the community Colonic Irrigation as RA for another year. Marvelous decision by all.

I know when you read this Colonic you will be humbled and slightly embarrassed but you deserve it my friend and don’t forget, if your girlfriend smells like shit, turnerover!

God Bless America.

Oh and that marvelous, handsome, well endowed, humorous, funny pillar of the community Colonic Irrigation.

Love to all,|
Elephant Ass, on up!

The sad Bastards are...

Sucksit 15
Insider 15
Apply ending 100
5 knuckle shuffle 105
Cradle snatcher 195
French erection 135
Jerry can 200
Seamen stains 205
Shagadelic 240
Aphrodisiac 275
Pussy galore 335
Mummys boy 655
Karma chameleon 425
Speed bumps 165